Secrets to a Successful New Year’s Resolution

 Yup, it’s that time of the year.  The end and the beginning all within a very short space of time. A time for reflection on the greatest hits and misses learnings and an opportunity to make plans for the year ahead.  I have to admit I really like the Christmas / new year’s in betweeny bit when the air has gone out of the festive whoopie cushion and we can hopefully relax and take it easy. While I rarely make big plans for New Year’s Eve I do look forward to the new year and a new page. 

 I had been a staunch resolutionist for years, in fact I found my 15 year old self’s diary a while back complete with start-of-the-year resolutions which included – drink more water, don’t pick spots, stop thinking about whatshisname. Did I ever stick to them? Rarely, and that’s why in more recent years I’ve taken the foot of the resolution pedal. I have however been doing a bit of research and to start with I’m thinking of these resolutions more in terms of habits – creating good ones, eliminating bad ones and in a bid to give these habits direction, creating goals.  

Getting Started
Resolution – a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Habit - a settled or regular tendency or practice.
Depending on who you ask it takes 21, 66 or 250 days to make or break a habit, but really it depends on the individual.

Goal - the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.

We start with our resolution, my advice here is, to choose just one that you can really commit to, rather than having a long list.

An example of one of the most popular resolutions is ‘I want to get fit’. 

There are many ways to ‘get fit’, we need to decide what works best and is appropriate for us, let’s say our resolutionist decides on getting fit by running.  
Specific goals can help by giving us a focus e.g. I want to get fit and my goal is to run the Dublin half marathon in September.  Creating a running habit is what’s going to get us to our goal. More about goals a little later.

What’s your ‘why’?
This is important.  What’s your intrinsic motivation? Ask yourself why you want to achieve this resolution / create this new habit or break the old one.  Each time you answer, ask yourself why again.  Five times in fact.  Drill down to the core of why you want to do this. 

I was chatting to a friend today who says she wants to lose weight – I asked her why.  ‘Because I want to look better’.  But after the fifth ‘why?’ she said her life of late has been spent running around after her children, she wants to take back some time for herself, take more care of her health and have more energy and restore some of the confidence she feels she’s lost.  

Find something that relates to this intrinsic motivation – in my friend’s case it’s a photo of her when she felt great – place in a prominent place as a reminder of what you’re trying to achieve.

Make a plan
‘There are dreamers and there are planners.
The planners make their dreams come true.’
Edwin Louis Cole.

How are you going to do this? Do you have a specific goal in mind? Is there a timeline?

Let’s go back to our earlier example, ‘I am going to run the Dublin half marathon in September’.  This is your super goal.  But September is a long way away, we need to break that super goal into sub-goals e.g. I’m going to join a couch to 5k group, mid-March I’m going to do a Park run, I’m going to do the mini marathon in June etc.  

You create a plan to take you to your super goal and you are hitting milestones and achieving as you nail your sub-goals along the way.  Using the SMART tool can be a great way to create that plan and achieve your goal.

SPECIFIC – What is your specific goal?
MEASURABLE – How can you measure your progress? (With sub-goals!) Nothing is as motivating as progress!
ACHIEVABLE – You might need to do your research here or consult with an expert. Given the time available and/or the commitment you’re willing to make is your goal achievable? If it is fitness related, and you are starting completely afresh, a medical check-up is recommended. Is the goal reasonable enough to be accomplished?
RELEVANT – Is your goal worthwhile and will it meet your needs?
TIMELY – Giving yourself a timeline will help maintain your focus and accountability. `

Support and accountability
If you are trying to create a new habit it’s going to be a challenge.  Consider how you can support this yourself and how others can support you.  Supporting yourself can mean managing your stress levels – we all know how when we get too busy and therefore stressed all our good intentions can go out the window.  Also getting adequate sleep.  Lack of sleep can weaken our resolve regardless of what our resolution is.

Also consider asking for support.  Letting friends, family know what you’re trying to achieve, not just for support but for accountability.  Different examples of this can be asking your family to get on board if you’re trying to clean up your diet, so they’ll understand when they notice all the biscuits and sweets have been removed from the home.  Buddying up with a friend or joining a group is another way of finding support, accountability and ultimately helping you reach your goal.

Breaking bad habits  
Going cold turkey on a bad habit is very challenging.  Rather than just leaving yourself hanging, try replacing the old bad habit with a good one.  E.g. if you are trying to kick the daily 5pm glass of wine, replace it with a glass of sparkling water or a herbal tea or maybe go for a 15-minute walk – yes I can feel the eye rolls.  Do you like something sweet with your 11am cuppa? Replace it with sliced apple and nut butter, or whatever healthy snack tickles your fancy. 

Be aware of things that cue your bad habit e.g. a coffee has to be accompanied by a biscuit, a glass of wine by a cigarette, be mindful and be prepared.

Falling off the wagon
It happens to all of us, don’t waste time beating yourself up, just get back on.

And lastly – this doesn’t have to happen on January 1st. It can start whenever your plan is in place and you feel ready and committed to making a change.

Good luck and Happy New Year!

The Joy of Decluttering

Fear not, I am not going for another career change and stepping into the wonderful world of professional decluttering.  As a life long hoarder, I know my limitations.  That said at the beginning of this year when we were just starting into our third and most severe lockdown I had a burst of energy in early January and swept through the apartment stripping the shelves of books that I had either read or knew I would never read and boxed them up along with DVDs, ornaments and some ‘token’ clothes – the clothes I knew, were going to be a whole project in themselves…  

Where did this sudden need to declutter come from?  Well aside from the usual new year rush of blood to the head, I had decided in November I should move to Lisbon and see out the pandemic from there.  All my yoga, Pilates and fitness classes were fully online and I love Lisbon and airbnb rentals were hugely discounted.   Why not?  That was it.  Decision made.  I was doing it.  Anyone I mentioned it to thought it was a wonderful idea and were mad with envy.  Yay, go me.   So what stopped me?  Well I hadn’t quite figured out all the details but the thought of what I would do with all my STUFF put a stop to my gallop. 

All this stuff I had accumulated over the years was completely weighing me down.  The stress of figuring out what I was going to do with it was keeping me awake at night.  The Lisbon idea got put on ice and I got back to sleep, but the need to declutter seed had been planted.  

After my initial January purge the apartment looked much neater and I was very pleased with my work, but because the charity shops were closed even though all the items were boxed up, they were still taking up space in the apartment and kind of in my head as well.  With the cold grey days of January and the least fun of all the lockdowns, my motivation to sweep the decks went from 60 to zero.

Although my de-cluttering had come to a grinding halt, I figured I would augment my efforts slightly by listening to Marie Kondo’s book ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up’.  This was interesting and I definitely picked up some useful tips but in places it sounds like her constant need to create order was almost a disorder.

I also watched The Minimalists documentary on Netflix, which reported the fact that the average American household has more than 300,000 items and maintain that the reason we accumulate all this ‘stuff’ is because we think it will make us happy.  These two guys got rid of most of their worldly goods and felt their lives improved exponentially because of it.  

As May drew closer, the restriction I was most excited about being lifted was essential retail – which would allow me access to the charity shops.  As serendipity would have it the week prior to that, I received an email from Rhoda of Designer Rooms who was offering wardrobe edits, an opportunity to de-clutter and rethink your wardrobe.  This was a no brainer for me.  Within minutes I had booked a session.  I had met Rhoda a few years and subsequently rented a designer dress from Designer Rooms for a wedding.  This woman knew her way around a wardrobe and was the epitome of patience and I also figured it’d be a bit of craic.

We discussed beforehand what my goal was for my wardrobe and I sent her a picture of my wardrobe(s)which were exploding with clothes.  In spite of the pictures, she still showed up.  We methodically went through everything in the wardrobes until there was a giant clothes mountain on my bed. With care and diplomacy and just the right degree of firmness (from Rhoda) we started to eliminate.  There were so many items that I had held onto for years some for sentimental reasons, others because I really liked them but they were verging toward tatty or had gone passed that point and moved on to raggy. 

Four sacks of clothes and a big box of shoes and boots later we were done.  Rhoda had completely re-organised the wardrobes so they no longer looked like TK maxx’s sale rails and more like a boutique – with actual space between the hangers.

This all took around 4 hours.  But I didn’t stop there. When Rhoda left I continued on my roll.  With new eyes I realised there was so much more stuff around the apartment that I had missed the first time around that could go.  What started at 10.00 on a Saturday morning finished at 8.30 that night. 

The following muggy May Monday morning I skipped along to the charity shops – or as much as you could skip while carrying heaving boxes and bags.  I had cleared out various pots and pans and along with other items these went to the recycling on the way home.  I got back to my apartment a sweaty mess but most definitely feeling lighter and liberated.

Rhoda followed up with an email and wardrobe moodboard about how I could consider putting existing items together as outfits and l have definitely put more thought into this in the last couple of months.

 The apartment declutter continues in spurts, but my bedroom has stayed mostly neat and tidy since Rhoda’s visit and I no longer spend a large part of time trying to find things that I have mindlessly mislaid.  One of the benefits of the declutter apart from more space is just more awareness about where I’m putting things but also because I appreciate that space I’m much more mindful about maintaining it and not replacing it with more clothes/clutter or automatically saying yes when someone offers me something e.g. the yogurt maker that they bought but have never used.

I heard on the radio today that ‘maxilism’ in home decor is now becoming a trend, which I’m kind of surprised about. For me, I have found the great clear out of 2021 a way of simplifying my life which I want to continue with, being kinder int he long run to the environment and without a doubt it has a positive effect on my mental health.

By the way would anyone like a yogurt maker that has never been used?

SMART Resolutions

The hills are alive, with the sound of New Years Resolutions.

resolution
/rɛzəˈluːʃ(ə)n/
noun

a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Since my teenage years I’ve been an ardent list maker culminating at the end of each year in a long list of resolutions.  A few months ago I found a diary I had kept as a fourteen year old and within that amongst the many toe curlingly cringey entries was a new years resolution list.  The first three items on the long list were 1) stop picking spots 2) drink more water 3) never think about ***** (teenage crush who shall remain nameless) again.  I’m pretty sure all of those resolves fell by the wayside within a week, or however long it took for the next spot to appear…in which case probably less than a week.  I can confirm ‘drink more water’ remains a challenge to this day and something I resolve to do at least three times a year every year.  Thankfully I don’t have as many spots to contend with as I did when I was fourteen. Occasionally that teenage crush will pop into my mind.  

In the last few years I haven’t really bothered with any new years resolutions and dare I say it, I have kind of missed them. I’m a total bore when it comes to New Years Eve and prefer to get to bed early and avoid all the fuss and having to hug and kiss strangers at midnight (any other other day of the year it’s not an issue because you don’t have to wish them well).  I do however really like New Year’s Day and getting up early and out for a hike to start the new year on a positive note. And it is a positive time, the chaos of Christmas is behind us, within a few weeks we’ll notice the days getting longer and then it’s just all downhill towards the summer months…well kind of…what better time to set a positive intention? This year realizing that when it comes to resolutions, less is more and I’ve made just one resolution.

Research shows that only one in ten of us will continue with our new years resolutions until the end of the year and that it takes sixty six days for something to become a habit.  That may sound disheartening but according to the experts the way to achieve our resolutions is to make them specific e.g. rather than just pronouncing what you’re going to do e.g. ‘I’m going to get fit’, which let’s face it, is a bit vague, figure out ‘the why’ – your motivation, and then ‘the how’ – make a plan.  

Have a serious think about your motivation. Why do you need or want to do this?  How will you benefit from it? Now let’s stop calling it a resolution and call it ‘a goal’ instead. This is where the ‘SMART’ tool comes in to help us achieve this goal.

Specific – If your resolution is ‘to get fit’, be specific e.g. to run a 5k park run or a 10k.  At this point it would be good to figure out your ‘how’?  Joining a group / club who have specific training sessions or buddying up with someone is a great place to start.  If you’re training with a group / club they will help you work towards your goal using the next four principles.  If you’re buddying up and your friend has experience in the area – great, otherwise do your research.  Again the researchers tell us that working with a friend or group is a great motivator and gives us accountability.

Measurable – setting intermittent / smaller goals means you can see your progress and remain motivated.

Achievable – Your goal should be achievable e.g. if you’re a complete newbie to running / exercise and starting in January an ironman triathlon in June might not be a great idea, whereas the mini marathon would be an achievable goal.

Realistic – be realistic about the amount of time and effort you will need to put in to achieve your goal and also the fact that it might take a bit of time before you see results.  You may fall off the wagon and that’s ok, just dust yourself off and get back on.    

Timely – There’s nothing like a deadline to focus the mind and efforts.

Whatever your goal is it can be useful to apply these rules and if the whole New Years resolution thing makes you want to smash a Christmas tree bauble off the wall, while I’m not suggesting procrastination (I do enough of that for all of us), remember resolutions are not just for new years, they can be made at anytime.

What’s my resolution? It involves writing. I won’t bore you with the specifics but suffice it to say I thought I’d start with a blog.

Happy New Year Everyone.